CHUCKLE CLUB SONG (With Directions)


EUGENE Hello everybody!!
AUDIENCE Balls!!! (Mostly sung by people who have been before)
EUGENE It's me, I'm Eugene Cheese!
I've come along, to sing a song, and sit on people's knees
I hope it will not hurt you much, or cause much consternation
(Eugene sits on Audience- Person's Knee- Male)
You haven't got a lot of choice, it's called "Participation"
(Male Audience-Person sighs with relief
when Eugene ascends Stage again.)
AUDIENCE (CHORUS)
Chuckle Club (Nervously, "This man must be crazy!!!")
Chuckle Club (Tentatively, "Some of the others think it's OK")
Chuckle Club (Confidently. "Most of us are singing!")
Chuckle Club (Bravely. "Why isn't everybody singing?")
EUGENE Hello everybody!!
AUDIENCE Balls!!! (Happily, in unison)
EUGENE And welcome to the show
If you sit there like a lemon, it's not much fun you know
We want to make you happy, and have a real good time!
Hip-hip-hooray, we're on today, we're glad we gave up crime!
AUDIENCE (CHORUS)
Chuckle Club (Happily, "We know it now!!!")
Chuckle Club (Loudly, "The ones not singing must be crazy")
Chuckle Club (Brazenly. "I'm having fun!")
Chuckle Club (Stupidly. "We're all having fun!!!!")
EUGENE Hello everybody!!
AUDIENCE Balls!!! (Out of control, some shouting "B*ll*cks",
as if they were the first person to do it.)
EUGENE You are so rude to tease!
A poor old man like me, you see, is very hard to please.
I've got to go away quite soon, somewhere that's very sunny.
I need a yacht, I need the lot
So send me all your money!!!
AUDIENCE (CHORUS)
Chuckle Club (manicly, "Weeeeee!!!")
Chuckle Club (Wildly, "I've lost all self-respect")
Chuckle Club (Blatantly. "Hoo-Hah, Hoo-Hah!")
Chuckle Club (Tiredly. "I think I've done myself an injury!")